I must confess.

I wish I could talk to you every night before I fall asleep. Long distance sucks... I know unless otherwise stated that we're just friends. Good friends. But it doesn't change the fact that I need you so much closer.

4th Grade Rats.

Yesterday was one of my best friend since 4th grade's 21st birthday. There's three of us: Anna, Ashley and I. We're now all 21! We treated Ashley to brunch yesterday before she headed back to Auburn. I miss those girls. It sucks when we all live in different cities majority of the year. Ashley in Auburn, Anna in Tuscaloosa, and then I'm here in Birmingham. Those girls mean the world to me. Love them to death. I don't know where I'd be without them.

Back to School

Yesterday was the start of the Fall Semester. I'm so happy to be a student again. Taking a whole semester off was miserable. I've been trying to do some course work this morning, but my niece has me so distracted. That little monkey has me wrapped around her little finger. Have to work tonight and I'm not really excited about it. Life. I'll get over it.

My heart, your hands.

Talked to Chris on the way home from the bar tonight. I didn't want to fall asleep. How I feel about that man... I don't know if I will ever be able to tell him.

He's something else. Something amazing.

I don't want to ever imagine my life without him.

Fall Semester.

Classes start back up on Monday. I'm so ready for his semester. Excited about it. Something to take my mind off of things. I might even be starting a new job. I don't know yet. Hopefully. My fingers are crossed.

White Horse.

Baby, I was naive, got lost in your eyes... I never really had a chance.

so fresh and floaty!

so fresh and floaty! by mamie2shoes featuring stiletto heels

Faith stiletto heels
$77 - debenhams.com

J Crew j crew jewelry
jcrew.com

Stud earrings
astleyclarke.com

Deborah Lippmann nail care
cusp.com

One of those days...

The only thing I've been doing today is sitting in my ex boyfriend's t-shirt, sweat pants, drinking hot tea, and watching Grey's Anatomy. It's one of those days. One of those afternoons. I don't have to be at work until 5 tonight.

I was supposed to go thrifting and consignment shopping today with my friend Amanda E. but I needed a 'me' day. I had a date last night. It was nice. Great even. The guy was a gentleman. A sweetheart. He's meeting me for Coffee tomorrow before class. I think this one is going to be a good one. I don't know what I want out of this though. I'm taking it slow.

I'm just second guessing things. Like I always do. I worry it's because I already have an idea of what I want and who I want it with. I want to be up North. That's the main thing. Where I want to settle down. And whether it's with the guy I want to enjoy it with or not... Well, I'll deal with that when I get to it.

thoughtsonfire. #2

"But I will soon forget the colour of your eyes, and you will forget mine."

but really though

my love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.

I read into things #4

Sometimes, the strongest contracts between people are not written down, and sometimes aren’t even said. They are just understood by both parties.

All those fairytales are full of shit...

Today took forever to get through. I think this was the first Friday that I've hated... Shit just sucks. It's so shitty how one piece of news can just ruin your day and the next few that follow. I know I'll be okay. I'm just not right now. And that's the feeling I'm currently living with. I just can't believe how big of a shitty person you turned out to be. The fucking audacity of some people. I mean, what the hell?

I still just can't wrap my head around this. It's just too fucking ridiculous... I don't know. I just can't. Ugh. The way my life plays out sometimes. Seriously. Romantic Comedy that everyone finds so fucking hilarious except for me. Whatever. On to the next one. Well, whenever I decide to start dating again anyways. I'm just going to focus on work and school this semester. Maybe next semester. Maybe.

I just need to hurry up and get my ass up to Boston.

Shit day.

Thank God my friends are bartenders. Drinking away this day. Then slugging through a double tomorrow. Shit just freaking sucks.

New cut, new style.

So I got my hair cut today. It feels so much healthier. I love it. My internet is still down at home so I'm using the tethering option on my phone to update from my laptop. It makes facebook and tumblr go quite slow, so I'm just going to update this Blog from it. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow. I'm starting to get very annoyed with Charter... But there's not really much that I can do. I need to go to Wal-mart and buy a big calendar to hang up on my wall. Honestly, I think it would help me blog more if I wrote out and had a visual reminder telling me to. Ha, how bad is that? Oh well.

I work Doubles the next three days, so I'm going to try to Blog as much as I can. It might just be quotes or pictures, but I at least need to post something.

I need to edit last week's Vlog and upload it... I guess I'll do that the rest of tonight and tomorrow while I'm on break. Hopefully I'll be able to upload it tomorrow or Friday. I think I'll also add a widget or starting posting my videos up on here soon. I need to find a better looking theme or layout though. Something that fits more to the style or mood. I don't know. I'm just rambling now.

No Internet...

So the internet at my house went out on Sunday... Which makes it quite difficult to blog...

I have been forced to update with my phone which is quite annoying. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow morning. I'll be able to blog when I get off work. Hopefully before I go get my hair cut by Micah. I'm kind of nervous about that. Micah always does a good job, but since I'm not quite sure what I want my hair to look like, I don't know how it's going to turn out. I trust her and she always knows what to do with my hair. I'll just put all my faith in her hands. Haha. She's never let me down before. I haven't gotten my hair cut in over a year. So this is way past due. I also need to recolor my hair, but we'll save that for a later date.


On a different note; I'm kind of hoping that with all the things that have been going on in my love life, it will inspire me to start writing again. I've been suffering through a horrible phase of writer's block that I can't get out of. I hate it. I just can't put down in to words all the shit that's going on in my head. Harder for me to even talk about it with the people closes to me. I hate it so much.

I didn't spend the last two days with J like I said I was going to. Need some time to think, which I still didn't do. I spent majority of the time trying to find things to keep my mind off of the subject. Went to Wal-mart to look for new book shelves and other organizing materials for my room. Played some video games, read about two different books, and went running for a good 2 hours. I just don't know what to do. Do I really want this again? Or am I just trying to fight off being lonely for as long as possible? I haven't told C about this yet. I haven't talked to him since this past Saturday actually. That's not anything he finds unusual, though. He's used to going days without hearing from me. I just don't really know if this is something I should bring up. I don't know if this something he would care about hearing or knowing. I just don't know.

Hello August.

So I'm going to try something new this month. 
Every day I'm going to blog something... At least two posts a day.
I need to get better with this whole blogging thing. 

I also need to get better with Vlogging, too...

Anyways, on to what's going on in my life...

J called me Saturday when I got off work. Said he missed me and wanted to see me. I couldn't deny the fact that I missed him too. So I went over to hang out with him and his old roommate ate his old apartment. It was nice seeing him again after a month apart from each other. I don't know where this is going to go this time. I told him I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do this again. He said we should try, but I don't know. I still have C on the mind. I'm never going to get C out of my heart and mind. He's always going to be there because I want him to be there. He's the one I want to try with. Lord knows if I will ever tell him that... I just need to get up North. Need to try things out.

Because J makes me want to stay here. But I'm not looking for a reason to stay. North is where I want to be.