Exhausted.

I feel so exhausted... Working, Class, Babysitting, Homework... I need an official day off.

I have barely had any time to myself. I've been able to work out twice a week at least. I need to get back to my regular of 4 times a week. I got a good bit of homework that I need to catch up with and no time to do it. Unless I bring my laptop with me everywhere I go with a WiFi at hand.

I miss playing video games and just being able to relax. Life of a working college student, I guess.

I don't know if I'll get any off time in the next week or two. I asked off my birthday weekend so I'm hoping they at least give me that. I'm going to need it. Spend some time with my friends and family. That would be so nice.

Maybe I'll go get a tattoo... I've been thinking about it. Getting either one of my wrists done. I just don't know which one yet.

I just need to get my life organized. That would be nice... Isn't there an App for that?

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Gamer vs. Nerd

I get asked this question a lot. Do I see myself more as a Gamer or a Nerd girl?

Honestly, I more nerd than just gamer. I LOVE video games. Probably more than a girl should, but I have so many other interest that fall into the nerd category. Being a Gamer just adds fuel to the fire.

It's something I'm proud of. Something that makes me who I am. I honestly wouldn't be able to imagine how my life would have been if I didn't grow up with the nerdy lifestyle that I have.

My life would probably be very boring without it.

"friends"

I miss you. Almost every single hour of the day, I miss you. I hate going days without talking to you. It's just no good. I need to head up north. I need to get to where you are. I need to see you and see where we can take this. I don't want it to be another year going by without me being able to see you again. I know I've been distant lately. I'm sorry for that. I just need to figure this out. What this feeling is.

What do I really feel when it comes to you?

And is there even one hour out of the day that you sit back and think of me?

What could it hurt?

That's what I keep asking myself. What could it hurt?

He leaves at the end of the month to move up north. So me spending time with him... What could it hurt? I don't think his friends know. I'm fine with that. They don't like me very much, if they even care at all. But that's just what I want to know... What could it hurt?

Burn Out.

It's a lot harder to find Burnout Tees than I want it to be... Kind of ridiculous if you ask me... But I'm determined to get almost every color in existence in the V-necks... I just love the look and feel of the shirt! Wishing myself luck. I wouldn't mind if you would to.

Bad day.

Whenever I have a bad day, I just want to text you and tell you in hopes that you will make me feel better. But I don't want to put that burden on you. I'm not going to make that your responsibility in my mind. I don't want to put a bad dent in your day. If you're having a great day, even just a mediocre good one, I don't want to be the reason it can go on a slight downfall. I shouldn't be this paranoid for wanting to talk to you.
I worry that I bother you sometimes. I hate when I get that feeling. Because that's the last thing that I want to do. I just hold you so highly, which I probably shouldn't do. I just can't help it. I care about you.

thoughtsonfire. #3

I didn't know if it was an apology or an excuse or some sort of confession. Maybe it was supposed to hurt, or maybe it was supposed to make things easier. But I guess it doesn't matter what it was, because you said it in past tense. "I loved you."

I think I'm in love with you.

And I hate you for it.

I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

I love you...